At Least Dick Cheney Didn't Show Us His Nipple

by Jim Babka
July 12, 2004

Late last month, the U.S. Senate voted on a bill to dramatically increase the fines the FCC can impose for Indecency. The bill was inspired by Janet Jackson's Super Bowl Half-time Show "costume accident," that resulted in the one-second exposure of her pierced right breast.

In the several days following the Super Bowl, Washington, DC was full of indignation. Righteous Anger was very chic last February.

Congress felt compelled to act – to pass a law for Decency. It's not a very creative solution, but it's all they know how to do.

Now the Senate didn't actually pass this particular bill – not yet. In a procedural move, they voted to attach the bill to a Defense Appropriation. This is a slick "combining maneuver," used frequently, because it's designed to make Senators unaccountable for voting on a specific bill. Apparently moral indignation doesn't stay chic for long.

Still, the bill will likely become law following a House-Senate conference where the differences get worked out, a rubber stamp approval by each chamber, and the imprimatur of a President who signs every bill set in front of him.

The Problems with Government Indecency Laws

Under a bill already passed in the U.S. House, uttering bad words can mean fines -- $500,000 for the host, AND for each station — per incident. This could be the death knell for the handful of stations that are not yet owned by major conglomerates.

Government always expands its power. Long term, we should probably expect the indecency umbrella to be expanded to cover things like hate speech — such as when a radio minister preaches about the dangers of homosexuality or a conservative talk- show hosts decries affirmative action.

Do you conservatives think I'm going overboard? Well, in Canada they already have hate-crime laws to stop criticism of the homosexual lifestyle.

• A Christian printer in Toronto was fined $5,000 by the Ontario Human Rights Commission for declining to print the letterhead of the Gay and Lesbian Archives.
• Saskatchewan's Human Rights Commission declared that references to Romans 1, Leviticus 18:22 & 20:13, and I Corinthians 6:9-10 can be considered hate speech. They ordered both the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix newspaper and Hugh Owens of Regina to pay $1,500 to three homosexual activists who had filed a complaint against a 1997 ad.

Those laws aren't limited to the Great White North — just ask your Realtor or a local landlord. At the possible expense of their livelihood or property, they are constantly worrying about ad copy being discriminatory in some way, shape, or form.

Dropping the F-bomb

Reining in shock-jocks and cracking down on the public display of nipples has many folks with kids saying, "Hooray!" It's practical concern that, as a father, I share.

...which is why I bring up Dick Cheney's nipple. Lest you think I'm attempting to titillate, there's a very serious point to be made about this new rule.

The day after the Senate voted to cluster this Indecency provision with a Defense Appropriation (indecent behavior, all by itself), Vice President Dick Cheney used one of George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words, at a U.S. Senate event.

The Vice President suggested to Senator Pat Leahy of Vermont that he should Fornicate Under Consent of the King¹ , preferably with an object of his own choosing². The Vice President's spokesman admitted surprise that his boss would've said such a thing, but he still characterized the exchange as a "frank discussion" (nudge, nudge; wink, wink).

And who could blame Cheney? Heck, I'm almost jealous. Senators like Pat Leahy deserve to be routinely told to "F(fornicate)-themselves." They should also be told to, "Go to H - E - double- toothpick."

Cheney to Be Fined?

For the sake of argument, let's assume the Vice President engaged in this particular vice with C- SPAN cameras rolling. Should Dick Cheney and C- SPAN face fines of $500,000 each for his rude behavior?

Fortunately for Cheney, he wouldn't need to hire another lawyer. Cable TV and Satellite Radio are exempt from this law. It only applies to the stations within the broadcast spectrum. C-SPAN is a cable network.

The dividing-line comes from the notion that the government owns the broadcast spectrum. And in a particularly obscene decision, Red Lion Broadcasting v Federal Communications Commission (1969), the Supreme Court agreed with this notion.³

This allows indignant, grandstanding, and profanity spewing politicians to violate their oath of office. So when you point out the politically-inconvenient First Amendment that talks about every American's right to Free Speech, they can tell you they don't give a flying f***.

Now that is obscene.

Editorial Note: www.DownsizeDC.org is giving you the chance to tell Congress, "No" on the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act of 2004.

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¹Fornicate Under Consent of the King is an acronym, based on a clever, but invented etymology for the "F-word."
²Precisely he said, "Go F*** yourself."
³The Court ruled that broadcast licensees were public trustees who take licenses with certain public duties – including required conformity with content-based rules that would not be relevant to other media.

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